I feel like my creative side has been stifled and bottled up for far too long. When I look back, the signs of my creativity were there. As a child, I loved coming up with new games which often involved illustrations. I was an avid reader and have always loved writing. In fact, I remember a high school English teacher that thought I was going to become an English major in college and eventually a writer.

So what changed? I think it was when I became part of the professional world of engineering. I had always known I was an engineer, as it is a way I tackle problems, think through the process, and come up with solutions. But that world is very much focused on the technical side, and keeping up with the technical world, which takes a lot of time and brainpower. Off time became more about recovery and “switching off” the technical brain, so evenings and weekends were usually focused on hobbies like mountain biking and trail running. Creativity wasn’t something that was part of my engineering life. There was “innovation” but not really creativity. But there were signs my creative side was trying to break through.

I used to write newsletters with race reports about my amateur motorcycle racing life. This was back in the early 2000s before email newsletters were a thing (now they seem to be a really big thing). I used to write articles recapping the weekend of races, include photos from the events, and did everything from the writing to the artistic layout to the printing. Back then I would print copies and mail them to sponsors to keep them updated.

Then I got into the world of triathlon and all of the training going into swimming, biking, and running. I blogged all the way through several years of training for Ironman Arizona. After not finishing in 2007, training for another year, and finishing in 2008, I switched over to a new blog to write about mountain biking and train running. I used to compete in XTERRA off-road triathlons, and even went to the world series in Maui after qualifying at a regional race in Saipan. I would blog about those adventures, and one of my blogs even made it into an article after an editor of a local magazine reached out to see if I would like to publish my race report in one of their issues. I remember I was paid a couple hundred dollars for the article, which was cool, but not something I pursued. Looking back I could have used that as a springboard into more writing. But instead I continued to blog for fun, eventually fizzing out and quitting blogging altogether in 2012. After that, I lost track of the whole blog thing. Turns out, blogging kept going and became even more popular! (Side note: After much internet digging I was surprised to find the links to my old blog and my online article still existed).

But these were all just side interests, and nothing I ever really pursued. Over the past few months, the creative energy has built up enough pressure to want to burst through. I’ve been thinking about what I want to develop as a whole person, and strictly being “the engineer” is not it. There are so many other things that I want to pursue and be. Up until now, I had always thought about exploring the creative side as something I would do in retirement. “If I had more time I would start writing novels, or painting, or working on fun artistic projects.” And then it hit me…why wait until retirement? That is still a long way off. Why not do it now?

Maybe it has been my re-evaluation of the whole work-life balance thing from the pandemic. I have realized that there are so many things I want to pursue and try, and waiting until I finish the engineering day job does not sound like a fun plan. I’ve seen a lot of people in my line of work retire lately, and so many of them have the work role wrapped up in their identity as a person. They are still posting about work as if they never left. I’ve seen some hand out business cards with their old job title with (Ret.) after the name. And others can’t resist talking like they are still in that line of work, even though they left years ago. I’ve looked at all of these instances and decided that was not what I wanted to be. It was like a warning flag and I needed to run down a different path now.

So I am uncorking my creative energy that has been bottled up for far too long, and exploring all the things in art and writing that I’ve been interested in and wanted to do for quite some time. I decided to document my journey of the things that I will try, probably will fail at, and maybe some that I will succeed in doing. I wanted to capture and focus on the process, rather than the end result. What does it mean to explore my creativity? This is what I hope to find out.